Sunday, April 4, 2010

Sometimes you just don't "feel it"

I've come to a realization today.  There are days that I don't "feel saved."  I have a lot of them, actually.  I don't mean days that I question my salvation, that I know with certainty, deep within my soul.  But I have lots of days that I don't feel an overwhelming presence of God, or I think I know what I "should" feel and it doesn't match up with my actual feelings.  I often finish reading my Bible without feeling, that "wow factor" from what God is saying.  Often, I'm not even sure of what He is saying to me.  

But after a string of days like that, I realized something today.  It's okay not to have that overwhelming feeling.  At Friday's service, I kept thinking my heart wasn't really in it because I wasn't feeling overwhelming grief.  But today I knew why.  Jesus' death wasn't the end.  He died, but not forever.  And while His death was a terrible thing that I am to blame for, it was part of His plan and I just have a hard time being sad knowing how the story ends.  Jesus took my sins with Him on that cross.  And He rose again that Easter morning.  That is what the story is about.  So while I may not always "feel" the overwheming feelings I sometimes think I'm supposed have.  I KNOW that my REDEEMER LIVES!  And that is awesome!
So I'm gonna allow myself to have those moments and enjoy the life my Savior gave me.  And when I pray or study the Bible, I'll wait quietly for when He will use His words to teach me, knowing sometimes it may take a while before I know what the lesson is.  And I'll continue to teach my children His word.  Because, while somedays God is silent, He is always present.  Even when we don't "feel" Him, He is present.  And today is a day to celebrate!

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Mom to four beautiful blessings including a brand new little guy. Laugh and cry with me as I navigate the joys and perils of motherhood and homeschooling.